31/05/04
It is not like I’ve anything against rains. In fact, rains are quite nice; but that is mostly when you are sitting by the window in the warmth of your house, with a good book to read. What I don’t fancy, is the idea of getting stuck, after 3 hours of grueling tuitions in the middle of a busy road when the auto driver asks my friend and me to please get out since he couldn’t possibly go any further. We spent the next 20 minutes walking in knee deep ‘water’ (God knows what else we must have stepped in). The market that we were walking in was definitely amazing. And the jerks that were standing outside shops jeering at all the vehicles that got stuck in the slush and laughing their what not off at poor, troubled people like my friend and me were even more amazing. But some of the people were really concerned. There were people who were actually standing outside their houses to warn pedestrians so that they wouldn’t fall in the drain. I then had to call my dad up to come and pick us up. We had to wait for another hour IN THE RAIN till my dad arrived like a saint who performed kind acts for those who weren’t too privileged or whatever. Anyway I reckon it is going to be pretty wet and ‘ichak pichak’ for a while. So everyone might as well get used to it.
cogitated thoughts
26/05/04
I got back to the general tuitions regime this week. After a week which consisted mostly of lazing around, “playing” some tennis, reading, music and other things which have no connection whatsoever to the “revision” that I was supposed to be doing, getting back to the mundane routine was almost traumatic! But anyway, I’m kinda getting used to it, so maybe after about 10 months (by which time, 12th would be done with for good (hopefully) I would’ve definitely blended in.
My dad returned from his first ever trip to the U S of A, yesterday. Owing to the fact that my relatives have equally distributed themselves in the U.S and Bangalore, I’ve heard my dad’s version of his trip, roughly about 15.5 times (yeah, by the 15.5th time I was definitely PUKKOFIED) But anyway, it was pretty interesting to hear about a foreign lifestyle and everything. From the sound of it, Americans seem to do everything in a XXL size. Apparently, they buy HUGE groceries, use extensive amounts of electricity and water and are also pretty huge themselves. Basically, they WASTE everything that they have. Some guy, after hearing that my dad was from India, asked him whether he was from some tribe or something. After a detailed explanation from my dad about how people in India aren’t mostly tribal but are actually pretty civilized and that India was in the south of Asia, NOT Africa; the guy nodded enlightenment and finally when my dad was about to leave, asked him if he could meet up with him when he was visiting Chile next month! But other than that it seems an alright place. I saw a couple of photographs and it is almost shocking how even the trees look perfectly fresh and green. My dad had difficulty breathing for a while, since he couldn’t quite get used to the fact that the place was completely dust free! It is tragic how India is unlikely to ever reach those standards.
ARGH power cut!!! This is happening too often these days.So much for “India Shining’’!
I got back to the general tuitions regime this week. After a week which consisted mostly of lazing around, “playing” some tennis, reading, music and other things which have no connection whatsoever to the “revision” that I was supposed to be doing, getting back to the mundane routine was almost traumatic! But anyway, I’m kinda getting used to it, so maybe after about 10 months (by which time, 12th would be done with for good (hopefully) I would’ve definitely blended in.
My dad returned from his first ever trip to the U S of A, yesterday. Owing to the fact that my relatives have equally distributed themselves in the U.S and Bangalore, I’ve heard my dad’s version of his trip, roughly about 15.5 times (yeah, by the 15.5th time I was definitely PUKKOFIED) But anyway, it was pretty interesting to hear about a foreign lifestyle and everything. From the sound of it, Americans seem to do everything in a XXL size. Apparently, they buy HUGE groceries, use extensive amounts of electricity and water and are also pretty huge themselves. Basically, they WASTE everything that they have. Some guy, after hearing that my dad was from India, asked him whether he was from some tribe or something. After a detailed explanation from my dad about how people in India aren’t mostly tribal but are actually pretty civilized and that India was in the south of Asia, NOT Africa; the guy nodded enlightenment and finally when my dad was about to leave, asked him if he could meet up with him when he was visiting Chile next month! But other than that it seems an alright place. I saw a couple of photographs and it is almost shocking how even the trees look perfectly fresh and green. My dad had difficulty breathing for a while, since he couldn’t quite get used to the fact that the place was completely dust free! It is tragic how India is unlikely to ever reach those standards.
ARGH power cut!!! This is happening too often these days.So much for “India Shining’’!
''A little to the left, yeah thats it! Now, raise your head, a little more to the right DON'T MOVE!!'' And no there wasn't a trace of zeal in that voice.On the contrary, it was as disinterested, morose and boring as any hairstylist's voice could get. She needn't have wasted so much of her precious energy to tell me that. The moment I sat in the chair, I'd accepted even the intake of Oxygen with some reluctance.
Now, I'm definitely not the kind of person who could be too bothered about what sheI looks like and blah. But my hair(God bless it) has this tendency of growing breadthwise more than it has the tendency to grow lenghtwise. So, after a couple of''Sneha, tie your hair; we can't see the T.V screen'' remarks from my dear family members I decided that there was no choice but to embark and get a hair cut.
''Take your glasses off'' mademoiselle hairstylist barked at me. I would call that order pretty smart since without my glasses, my clear vision is limited to about a distance of 20 cm from my eyes and in comparison with that the mirror was quite far away. The next moment I heard a whisper in my ear ''it'll cost you 120 ruppees''; and it'll cost you about 50,000 frosty nosed killing stares from my mum you cold witch I whispered inaudibly (I hope)
So, all this being settled the process finally began. With my limited vision I saw black hair all over the floor...MY HAIR. After about 20 minutes of undiluted discomfort and misery ''done'' she yelled. With trembling hands I reached for my specs and took a closer look in the mirror; I was too much in a daze to even scream at the horror that looked back at me. My dear mother, on the other hand who was giving the renowned ''hairstylist'' the 50,000 stares (mentioned earlier) while handing out the 120 bucks started off on some big time''Oh, sweetheart don't worry about it. You look just fine. You have to try new styles, you know'' dialogue frenzy. ''Right ho'' I mumbled, now completely convinced that along with looking like a half evolved specimen from the distant lands of planet Zog, I now looked like a half evolved specimen from the distant lands of planet Zog with weird hair.
moral: Don't trust hairstylists who sound morose. They are probably facing serious problems in their lives and want to take their anger out in novel ways; for eg:cutting your hair and making you look more like a monster than the average homo sapien.Amen.
Now, I'm definitely not the kind of person who could be too bothered about what sheI looks like and blah. But my hair(God bless it) has this tendency of growing breadthwise more than it has the tendency to grow lenghtwise. So, after a couple of''Sneha, tie your hair; we can't see the T.V screen'' remarks from my dear family members I decided that there was no choice but to embark and get a hair cut.
''Take your glasses off'' mademoiselle hairstylist barked at me. I would call that order pretty smart since without my glasses, my clear vision is limited to about a distance of 20 cm from my eyes and in comparison with that the mirror was quite far away. The next moment I heard a whisper in my ear ''it'll cost you 120 ruppees''; and it'll cost you about 50,000 frosty nosed killing stares from my mum you cold witch I whispered inaudibly (I hope)
So, all this being settled the process finally began. With my limited vision I saw black hair all over the floor...MY HAIR. After about 20 minutes of undiluted discomfort and misery ''done'' she yelled. With trembling hands I reached for my specs and took a closer look in the mirror; I was too much in a daze to even scream at the horror that looked back at me. My dear mother, on the other hand who was giving the renowned ''hairstylist'' the 50,000 stares (mentioned earlier) while handing out the 120 bucks started off on some big time''Oh, sweetheart don't worry about it. You look just fine. You have to try new styles, you know'' dialogue frenzy. ''Right ho'' I mumbled, now completely convinced that along with looking like a half evolved specimen from the distant lands of planet Zog, I now looked like a half evolved specimen from the distant lands of planet Zog with weird hair.
moral: Don't trust hairstylists who sound morose. They are probably facing serious problems in their lives and want to take their anger out in novel ways; for eg:cutting your hair and making you look more like a monster than the average homo sapien.Amen.
15/05/04
It is time to get your popcorn bowls out and wait for the grand finale. Alright corny I admit but I’m just quoting from that stupid newspaper…yeah! Times of India!
For the life of me I can’t figure out the hype that is attached with the whole affair. I mean yes, ‘elections decide the future of this country’…blah…but, what I’m trying to say is that its more like everyone’s betted their lives on who’s going to win the goddamn lottery or something!
BJP lost, Congress won and instead of considering the fact that the former party is headed by an old man who probably has difficulty walking, let alone think of the welfare of a country whose population is one of the largest in today’s world (Incidentally, I don’t know what relevance this has to anything but as a kid; I used to be proud of the fact that India had the second biggest janasankhya. I also used to be proud of the fact that I was living in the largest continent and…OKAY snap out of it you ignoramus I say to myself and get back to the point) I mean, with all due respect to Mr Vajpayijee; I think he did a pretty decent job and everything but I also think that he…err shouldn’t strain himself too much at this…err…ripe old age. So anyway instead of considering all this and looking more optimistically at the whole situation AND acknowledging the fact that maybe Sonia has more to her than an accented language, (I speak as a mere onlooker here, I mean I wouldn’t really know too much about Mrs Gandhi so as to decide whether she would make an able P.M for our country.) what do people do? They crib about her foreign origin!!!
The main point that everyone seems to be missing here is that at least there is a likely possibility that Sonia may not emphasize on all that religion bullshit that the NDA were so intent on. Ah well! What is there to do but to watch and wait…and tell myself to stop being so desperate and do just about anything (which includes writing A class zilch) to get away from that fat physics book.
It is time to get your popcorn bowls out and wait for the grand finale. Alright corny I admit but I’m just quoting from that stupid newspaper…yeah! Times of India!
For the life of me I can’t figure out the hype that is attached with the whole affair. I mean yes, ‘elections decide the future of this country’…blah…but, what I’m trying to say is that its more like everyone’s betted their lives on who’s going to win the goddamn lottery or something!
BJP lost, Congress won and instead of considering the fact that the former party is headed by an old man who probably has difficulty walking, let alone think of the welfare of a country whose population is one of the largest in today’s world (Incidentally, I don’t know what relevance this has to anything but as a kid; I used to be proud of the fact that India had the second biggest janasankhya. I also used to be proud of the fact that I was living in the largest continent and…OKAY snap out of it you ignoramus I say to myself and get back to the point) I mean, with all due respect to Mr Vajpayijee; I think he did a pretty decent job and everything but I also think that he…err shouldn’t strain himself too much at this…err…ripe old age. So anyway instead of considering all this and looking more optimistically at the whole situation AND acknowledging the fact that maybe Sonia has more to her than an accented language, (I speak as a mere onlooker here, I mean I wouldn’t really know too much about Mrs Gandhi so as to decide whether she would make an able P.M for our country.) what do people do? They crib about her foreign origin!!!
The main point that everyone seems to be missing here is that at least there is a likely possibility that Sonia may not emphasize on all that religion bullshit that the NDA were so intent on. Ah well! What is there to do but to watch and wait…and tell myself to stop being so desperate and do just about anything (which includes writing A class zilch) to get away from that fat physics book.
8.05.04
‘The best books are those that tell you what you already know.’ This is a line from George Orwell’s 1984, a book that I just finished reading for the second time.
The book is based on a political set up in which communism is a major influence and where individualism has lost its significance.1984, is a book of a horrifying reality. Some point of time, you link it with the society, as you see it today and then realize that the basic foundation that the book is based on could be true; tomorrow if not today.
When I read it for the first time, I merely acknowledged the fact that I mentioned just now. I considered the option of the book becoming a reality, but did not give it too much thought. Now that I’ve read it for the second time with more concentration and more understanding I realized that the book wasn’t just interesting; it was haunting. I saw this movie called the ring once. It was pretty scary and all. But, that’s what is so reassuring about horror movies. After you watch a good horror movie, the real world makes a deep impact on you and the movie on a whole has a more positive effect on you.
But when it’s a book like 1984, then, like I said earlier, it tells you things that you already know and thus, when the author places some new ideas before you, eccentric though they may seem ( at least to some extent), you find yourself believing that they could be possible.
‘The best books are those that tell you what you already know.’ This is a line from George Orwell’s 1984, a book that I just finished reading for the second time.
The book is based on a political set up in which communism is a major influence and where individualism has lost its significance.1984, is a book of a horrifying reality. Some point of time, you link it with the society, as you see it today and then realize that the basic foundation that the book is based on could be true; tomorrow if not today.
When I read it for the first time, I merely acknowledged the fact that I mentioned just now. I considered the option of the book becoming a reality, but did not give it too much thought. Now that I’ve read it for the second time with more concentration and more understanding I realized that the book wasn’t just interesting; it was haunting. I saw this movie called the ring once. It was pretty scary and all. But, that’s what is so reassuring about horror movies. After you watch a good horror movie, the real world makes a deep impact on you and the movie on a whole has a more positive effect on you.
But when it’s a book like 1984, then, like I said earlier, it tells you things that you already know and thus, when the author places some new ideas before you, eccentric though they may seem ( at least to some extent), you find yourself believing that they could be possible.
7.05.04
Now, the reason I’m writing is simple. I’ve nothing better to do. Usually in such circumstances, I usually end up writing nothing. It is just that I’m in the 12th standard this year and magically, don’t seem to have the time for anything other than academics that is! So, whenever I find a little bit of time I do…ANYTHING!
I used to scoff at my seniors who seemed to spend so much of their precious time with books that were as thick as they were tall. Little did I know that I would be in the same predicament?
I attend these tuitions that finish by 7 in the evening. They give us loads to do which leads me to spend most of my time at home finishing home work. I don’t really get the time to study or anything. But technically speaking, I’m still studying most of the time. I just hope it pays off, that’s all. Today, we had a test. It went alright I guess. The problem with me is that after a test I can’t do anything that is even remotely connected to academics; hence, the joblessness.
Q.E.D
Right now, I’m listening to this song called hollow years by Dream Theater. I like the song on a seasonal basis. It’s the kind of song that you hear once and fall in love with it immediately. But when u hear it after a while then you don’t really see anything too extraordinarily special about it. Dream Theater is that kind of a band. That’s why I never listen to them too often. But I like them, so I listen to them, like I said, on a seasonal basis. There was this song though, ‘candle burn’ by Dishwalla. I heard it last year sometime, and I used to hear it for about two weeks everyday. The lyrics somehow made an impression on me, I never figured out why.
Here are the words:
"Candleburn"
on Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night
for someone
she lets herself go
like an angel in the snow
she lays down on her back
down on her back - she goes
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design
she waits - for someone
tonight she'll give herself away
she'll break apart all by herself
its so easy how we come undone
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
she pulls me in - strips me down
she pulls me in - turns me out
she pulls me in - strips me down
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
will they burn for me
It’s the kind of song you think about when you can’t sleep at night. I used to know someone who never liked a song unless it was deep enough. And if it had straightforward lyrics, then he would decipher out some complicated explanation just for his satisfaction.
I never understood that part about him. Most of the time, I see beauty in the simplicity of things. When it comes to music, my ideas keep fluctuating. Some of the best bands don’t have great lyrics. Of course I can’t generalize that statement, but to some extent it has degrees of truth in it.
Take dire straits for example, most of their lyrics are the wrote-it-in-the bathroom kinds… very mellow stuff…nothing deep about it…but the guitars, and Knopfler’s vocals don’t allow you to get even inches closer to giving a damn about the words. Right now, I think that there is too much of tension in the world, and too many math and physics problems to figure out. So currently, I would rather not make music a chore as well.
Now, the reason I’m writing is simple. I’ve nothing better to do. Usually in such circumstances, I usually end up writing nothing. It is just that I’m in the 12th standard this year and magically, don’t seem to have the time for anything other than academics that is! So, whenever I find a little bit of time I do…ANYTHING!
I used to scoff at my seniors who seemed to spend so much of their precious time with books that were as thick as they were tall. Little did I know that I would be in the same predicament?
I attend these tuitions that finish by 7 in the evening. They give us loads to do which leads me to spend most of my time at home finishing home work. I don’t really get the time to study or anything. But technically speaking, I’m still studying most of the time. I just hope it pays off, that’s all. Today, we had a test. It went alright I guess. The problem with me is that after a test I can’t do anything that is even remotely connected to academics; hence, the joblessness.
Q.E.D
Right now, I’m listening to this song called hollow years by Dream Theater. I like the song on a seasonal basis. It’s the kind of song that you hear once and fall in love with it immediately. But when u hear it after a while then you don’t really see anything too extraordinarily special about it. Dream Theater is that kind of a band. That’s why I never listen to them too often. But I like them, so I listen to them, like I said, on a seasonal basis. There was this song though, ‘candle burn’ by Dishwalla. I heard it last year sometime, and I used to hear it for about two weeks everyday. The lyrics somehow made an impression on me, I never figured out why.
Here are the words:
"Candleburn"
on Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night
for someone
she lets herself go
like an angel in the snow
she lays down on her back
down on her back - she goes
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design
she waits - for someone
tonight she'll give herself away
she'll break apart all by herself
its so easy how we come undone
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
she pulls me in - strips me down
she pulls me in - turns me out
she pulls me in - strips me down
take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
will they burn for me
It’s the kind of song you think about when you can’t sleep at night. I used to know someone who never liked a song unless it was deep enough. And if it had straightforward lyrics, then he would decipher out some complicated explanation just for his satisfaction.
I never understood that part about him. Most of the time, I see beauty in the simplicity of things. When it comes to music, my ideas keep fluctuating. Some of the best bands don’t have great lyrics. Of course I can’t generalize that statement, but to some extent it has degrees of truth in it.
Take dire straits for example, most of their lyrics are the wrote-it-in-the bathroom kinds… very mellow stuff…nothing deep about it…but the guitars, and Knopfler’s vocals don’t allow you to get even inches closer to giving a damn about the words. Right now, I think that there is too much of tension in the world, and too many math and physics problems to figure out. So currently, I would rather not make music a chore as well.
1.05.04
I watched this play that was staged in my apartment, a few days back. One of my friends was in it and it was actually pretty shocking to see him transform into something I would have never thought he could become. From a cheerful, friendly, bindaas kinda guy he turned into an emotional wreck! The story of the play was no big deal. It was based on the standard god, devil and man set up; evil man changing his ways for the better and blah, blah.
But the way it was presented really appealed to me, there were no costumes, just normal people playing the parts of actors.
I wrote this the day I watched the play:
The Pretender
Distorted images,
Of things that lie before me,
Tangled dreams,
I cannot comprehend.
Solitary reaper,
I stand alone.
Into the distance,
Birds fly high.
The cast is ready,
The stage is set for the play,
The curtains are drawn,
Its time to begin the show
Everyone is acting,
Its my turn next.
Stuck in a moment,
I oblige.
Compelled by the audience,
I adapt, myself
A wistful look at
The things that could have been
Time doesn’t heal,
Wounds leave behind scars,
Life is panoramic,
The drama is endless,
I crawl…to the backstage.
The funny thing is that when I was writing it, I wasn’t thinking of the play but of life in general. The moment I finished writing it, abstract I realized that I had linked some abstract thought in my mind to that play.
I watched this play that was staged in my apartment, a few days back. One of my friends was in it and it was actually pretty shocking to see him transform into something I would have never thought he could become. From a cheerful, friendly, bindaas kinda guy he turned into an emotional wreck! The story of the play was no big deal. It was based on the standard god, devil and man set up; evil man changing his ways for the better and blah, blah.
But the way it was presented really appealed to me, there were no costumes, just normal people playing the parts of actors.
I wrote this the day I watched the play:
The Pretender
Distorted images,
Of things that lie before me,
Tangled dreams,
I cannot comprehend.
Solitary reaper,
I stand alone.
Into the distance,
Birds fly high.
The cast is ready,
The stage is set for the play,
The curtains are drawn,
Its time to begin the show
Everyone is acting,
Its my turn next.
Stuck in a moment,
I oblige.
Compelled by the audience,
I adapt, myself
A wistful look at
The things that could have been
Time doesn’t heal,
Wounds leave behind scars,
Life is panoramic,
The drama is endless,
I crawl…to the backstage.
The funny thing is that when I was writing it, I wasn’t thinking of the play but of life in general. The moment I finished writing it, abstract I realized that I had linked some abstract thought in my mind to that play.
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